NEW. SHEETS.
Posted on June 23rd, 2008 at 2:43 am
Fuck. Yes.
Preferrably Cheez Ums
Posted on June 13th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Dan: here, check it out http://www.dancrum.org/uploads/scenekid-wip.jpg
Kaja: what never! our hot goalie was awesome and omg such a fine piece of ass and he is HUUUUGE
Kaja: peepin pic
Kaja: the hais is lookin rad
Kaja: all of it looks great
Kaja: i love the crispness and the clear b&w contrast
Kaja: she’s got massive lips lol
Dan: those are what we call DSL here in the states
Kaja: why?
Kaja: damn sexy lips?
Dan: hahaha no
Dan: dick suckin’ lips
Kaja: OH LOL
Kaja: yes
Kaja: theya re not really cool though
Dan: ??
Kaja: lips that big. lol
Kaja: man i’m still bitter about yestrday’s match
Dan: oh yeah, no those suck
Dan: hate them
Dan: I hate those big soft lips
Dan: fuck those
Dan: *sigh*
Kaja: AHAHAHA RIIIGHT
Kaja: you so witty
Dan: no, for real man, soft lips pressing against your’s, or your.. hrm… that just, that sucks
Dan: I like, chapped, tiny bird lips
Dan: I wanna feel like someone is scraping the opening of a pringles can against my junk
Dan: okay, I’m done
Kaja: hahahaa jesus fucking christ
Kaja: i’m laughign so hard
Kaja: OH MAN I ALUGHED SO HARD I CRIED
Kaja: otl
Dan: YES
Dan: DAN WINS
Dan: 1 - 0
P.S. Poland’s goalie, oh man, what a fuckin’ tool! HAHAHA
This is a fact.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 2:17 am
Me: Oh hey, nice Rolling Stones shirt Andrew
Andrew: Oh yeah, thanks.
Me: I heard they are all animatronics.
Andrew: Oh really?
Me: Yeah, like they actually died 20 years ago or something and now they just use robots covered in wrinkly, fake skin.
Andrew: Interesting
Me: One of them runs on heroin apparently. Has a little port on the inside of his arm right here. (points at inside of elbow) Just jacks in, shoots in the heroin, then SQUEEDILIEDEEDILEDEELIDEEDEEEEE!!! (does air guitar) rocks out.
Andrew: They did a great job on the lips.
Me: Jagger’s? Oh yeah, you have no idea how many cow vaginas they had to go through to find those.
(Laughter)
Me: Okay, we have to stop.
Iran So Far
Posted on February 17th, 2008 at 12:54 am
I know there’s no drawing, but this is too funny to not pass on.
“Iran So Far”
Worst Valentine’s Ever
Posted on February 15th, 2008 at 7:57 am
For more reasons than I can explain right now, this was easily the worst Valentine’s Day of the last twenty years. Fuck it, I’m going to bed.
Swallow your pills, Pillhead
Posted on January 23rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
First off, wtf. That last thing I heard on the BBC World Service last night before falling asleep is that Heath Ledger had been found dead. How out of left field is that? I mean, of all people.
I went to the doctor Monday. He said my head wound is fine, but the rest of my head sucks. He said I have a sinus problem, most likely relating to the beating I had last summer. He prescribed antibiotics, Mucinex, and ear drops. I have like, an over abundance of ear wax, possibly related to my sinuses, and he’s going to wash them out tomorrow. God, so gross.
I’m having a hard time with Assassin’s Creed. Like, I just avoid playing it. The game just… it’s gotten to the point where sneezing gets you in trouble. I spend more time running away from my objectives due to being chased by guards, than actually trying to like, beat my objectives. AWESOME. First half of AC, great. Second half, not really so great. I miss Bioshock.
Seriously…
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 3:57 am
You know how sometimes some bad shit happens like you miss a bus or get looked over for a promotion and you are like, “Oh man wtf why is my life so hard? Bad shit always happens to me!” Well let me tell you kids.
SMALL
POTATOES.
Ultimate Fighting Cats
Posted on November 30th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
This was posted on a forum I go to and I thought it was hilarious and awesome. If no one else, I’m sure at least Lacey will find it entertaining.
Gross.
Posted on October 15th, 2007 at 2:11 am
Snippet of a conversation between Chrissy and I outside of the Junction. (We’re pretend married)
(After telling Chrissy she has to ride her bike home because I’m not stuffing it in my trunk)
Dan: Well maybe I should ride it, work off this food. (pats stomach) You know what would work even better, finding someone to have sex with!
Chrissy: Hell yeah, nothing burns fat like having sex.
Dan: You know what I call it? Sexercise. Back when I was with my ex, people would say ‘Hey Dan, you look thinner, have you been working out?’ and I’d just say, ‘Naw man, just been having some sexercise… She’s new to it, so I have to do all the work.’
Chrissy: Oh god–
Dan: It’s true! It was always ‘Let’s do the missionary position.’ and I’d be ‘Awww man, THAT’S GREAT FOR MY CALVES! (Does weird pelvis thrusts) My calves and gluts, HELL YEAH!’
Chrissy: Jesus… Stop that.
Dan: I’d have to run a lap before first.
Chrissy: What?
Dan: I’d have to run a lap, around the block. You know, to stretch out my legs. Sometimes I do this. (Does a weird jig that involves kicking his legs up around Chrissy) Yeah, that one really gets the ladies goin’.
Chrissy: Yeah, I have to stretch out my inner thighs, you know so I can bend them back far enough.
Dan: Sometimes I put talc on my balls.
Chrissy: What?
Dan: You know, to make sure they don’t stick to anything.
Chrissy: No man, you just have to get everything wet enough so that it all just slides around.
Dan: Oh my god… WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!?
Yeah, Chrissy and I… I dunno man… seriously.
