Gross.
Posted on October 15th, 2007 at 2:11 am
Snippet of a conversation between Chrissy and I outside of the Junction. (We’re pretend married)
(After telling Chrissy she has to ride her bike home because I’m not stuffing it in my trunk)
Dan: Well maybe I should ride it, work off this food. (pats stomach) You know what would work even better, finding someone to have sex with!
Chrissy: Hell yeah, nothing burns fat like having sex.
Dan: You know what I call it? Sexercise. Back when I was with my ex, people would say ‘Hey Dan, you look thinner, have you been working out?’ and I’d just say, ‘Naw man, just been having some sexercise… She’s new to it, so I have to do all the work.’
Chrissy: Oh god–
Dan: It’s true! It was always ‘Let’s do the missionary position.’ and I’d be ‘Awww man, THAT’S GREAT FOR MY CALVES! (Does weird pelvis thrusts) My calves and gluts, HELL YEAH!’
Chrissy: Jesus… Stop that.
Dan: I’d have to run a lap before first.
Chrissy: What?
Dan: I’d have to run a lap, around the block. You know, to stretch out my legs. Sometimes I do this. (Does a weird jig that involves kicking his legs up around Chrissy) Yeah, that one really gets the ladies goin’.
Chrissy: Yeah, I have to stretch out my inner thighs, you know so I can bend them back far enough.
Dan: Sometimes I put talc on my balls.
Chrissy: What?
Dan: You know, to make sure they don’t stick to anything.
Chrissy: No man, you just have to get everything wet enough so that it all just slides around.
Dan: Oh my god… WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!?
Yeah, Chrissy and I… I dunno man… seriously.
